Being A Rebel

How to define, Being me, you or this world...? Everything changing with time, Have seen people dying...  Every day, Every moment, We get closer to the death. Observing self with each breath...  Yet, the illusion of pride and shame, Unsatisfying the achievement flame... Is it right to rise on ruins of someone's life, Is it right to hoard the lust and grieves?  A rat-race, or just a random epoch of time... A divine planning or just mixture of ammonia and lime? Life has lots to answer... I seek answers in meditation and solitude, I ask to the nature and its magnitude... As little time, life has been spent, The opaque idea is intervened by the sprout of vision. By the time of death only, I would come to know the life and its reason. ~  Amit, 20th July 2013 Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel

More than a good feeling,  more than a source of desire...  Your love for me was sense of existence,  Beyond the race, beyond the struggle  and beyond the mean world. Dint you stop the pace of time, Every time you talked with me? Dint you tell many more beyond the meaning of words? Worldly worried dint matter at all... Yesterdays were forgotten, tomorrows got freeze! Those moments just lived through your love. Was it end of desire, or source of a hope... Or that peace of my mind which I search no more! 20 June 13 Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel

It is often said "follow your heart" and be what you want to be. The examples given are Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Amithabh Bachhan and so on. It is true happiness is to do what you love to do. However, it's only one side of story, the other side always remains in darkness... Just like moon, we only see the brighter side of it. There are millions other who waste their potentials and talent just by following their heart and likings.  No one is a Steve Jobs until he/she becomes a CEO of the Apple. The person remains a broken guy who goes to Hare Krishna temple in search of good food. The point is, you essentially need a success story. There are many talented guys who are much more creative and active but they remain unknown till their last breath - living in a Oakwood banglow of North America or doing some tricks of Dharavi Slum of Mumbai. These guys are no less but things didn't click with them or they didn't think beyond the horizon.  The point is, yo...

The darkness of winter is getting bitter...  Soul along with the body trying to consolidate Though, I miss your presence, Yet, I can feel your love  warping me like petals of warmth! Unfeeling emotions we singing when you were beside me. Now singing words are becoming emotionless...  Like a long lonely night,  your absence has drown me in darkness,  Waiting the first ray of the dawn,  to have be my side and to make your my own.  Your advent will cure this cold,  But you got to come soon.... My breath is on hold.    

All passion and obsessions are matter of time. The love, care and relation… everything is time bound. The society, culture and politics too dependent on ever changing time. The change is only constant. And time is only dimension. Every thing will pass away, not to wait, not to watch… play your part at best… rest will be history in your name. Because, human history is history of few men, who believed in themselves!

My three months at Bangkok have been unusual for a lone single male; as my friends say here. I dint go behind any glittery thing here - material or immaterial . Rather, I joined some spiritual discourse by Buddhist and Hindu sage and monks. For me, it was a big testing time for my own self awareness. I experimented with my thoughts, work, reaction of others and survival skills in not-so-alien land. These days in Bangkok taught me a good lesson for life, 'When you take control of your own life, nothing can happen with you beyond your wish. All worries including stress, anxiety, disappointments, sadness and existential crisis, just wither away. The self awareness becomes more profound and you feel what your wish to feel. This control over own consciousness could be gained by simple meditation focused on realization of self-existence.' No one, no reason and no matter can make you sad. So, you must take control of your own life.    

बहुत सुंदर था तुम्हारा साथ, दिल को बड़ा शुकून था और हाथों में थे हाथ. सपने जो अपने थे कि चलेंगे साथ साथ. और जब, तुम नहीं हो आज सब कुछ वैसा ही है तुम्हारे बाद. खुश हूँ की उम्मीदों को आराम है अब, और तन्हाई ने पता बताया है अब. चलना तो है ही राह- ए- जिंदगी पे हमसफ़र कोई भी हो, मंजिल तो एक ही है अब. चैन से जीने की चाह हमे नहीं थी, चैन से तो सोना ही है मौत के बाद. चले तो अकेले ही थे, फिर से हो गया है तन्हाईओं का साथ. तुम हो या ये दुनिया है, पता चला है तुम्हारे जाने के बाद. सपने अब हकीकत के आने लागे हैं, दुनिया मिल गयी है तुम्हारे जाने के बाद. पूछो हमे या ना पूछो, याद भी चाहे मत करना, हम खुश थे तुम्हारे साथ, लेकिन मुस्कुराये तुम्हारे बाद तुम्हे मुबारक हो सुख चैन की जिंदगी और जिंदगी का जोड़ तोड़, हम चलेंगे ऐसे ही दीवानगी के साथ फिकर ना करना हमारी, खुश हैं तुम्हारे बाद. अमित श्रीवास्तव , १७ मई २००९ © अमित Amit

दुआ माँगी तो दर्द मिला, बहार निकले तो मौसम सर्द मिला. चाह थी दुनिया भर के प्यार की, मतलब के लोग मिले और प्यार का आसमान जर्द मिला. यूँ ही दरियादिल बनने चला था मैं, मुझे जो भी मिला, खुदगर्ज़ मिला! - अमित श्रीवास्तव, १ मई २००९ I did ask for blessings (English translation by author himself.) ---------- I did ask for blessings, but received only pain. when I came out, the weather got cold. I was trying to spread the love around the world, Got the people of means, Found the livid sky of love. I just came to make the flush of affection, In response what I got; got selfish! - Amit Srivastava, 1st May 2009 © अमित Amit

पांव जकड़ गए हैं , और रास्ते खो गए , इंतेज़ार की राह में , कयामत की आश में . हूँ मैं फिर से उस जुनून की तलाश में , कभी इस चाह में , कभी उस आश में .

...feeling lost since many weeks... and its has been so deeper that now I am getting the remorse of it. And how helpless I am on it... don't know how to tell it to near and dear one.. don't know how would they react on it.. even if I tell it anyhow. But certainly its like a night for my consciousness! I believe, am passing through the darkest part of it. Hoping the dawn's advent is not so long.

The crossroads of my life! Keep waiting for me with all those surprises.. Heading in where? where shall I arrived... Is this a voyage towards nowhere! Still, I got to go! go with time, with the trend, Life says: One must go... The puzzling quest of people, to get more.. to keep more! I wonder what will they do it with all more! Have you gone through Behavioral changes in situations, psychiatric breakdowns and depressions... Yes! I have been through it all! An adventurous life I am blessed with! The characters have made it more colourful and interesting... Sometime the promises and dreams of everlasting become day or week-lasting! The mean buddies have poked emotionally, and have been ditched for better option! Ideology, consciousness and faith, have been misused often! Still voyage is on... with more energy and adventure! Unexplored avenues are amazing and shall be sailing towards departure! Yes! I got to go... in tandem with life! with no alibi for lagging behind। © अमित Amit

I been to the life theater.. with different roles.. different masks, different purposes.. Some time, to lead, some time to follow, Some time to struggle, sometime to win. I have been there... On dramatic life theater.. The villain of sorrow , made me cry.. The role of a fighter, made me too dry. The people around me think of many thing .. for some, I am lovable .. for some I am hard.. for some, I am yet another man, for some I am nothing. The roles I played, have taught me many things .. fight for your goal, but don't attached to the things.. In all scenes , I surely made my presence.. with die hard courage and ever lasting patience . when this drama will head to an end.. I will lay down and think and think... with the last breath I will think... I have had a great memories.. I may not remember of punishment and prize.. I would think that I lived life king size!